For Those Contemplating Homeschooling

Welcome to the wild, wonderful and wacky world of homeschooling. I think it's a great choice to consider. I've had several friends and relatives asking me about starting homeschooling lately, and this is some of what I've been thinking about their questions.

One of the books that I frequently suggest is Lisa Welchel's So You're Thinking About Homeschooling. It has several chapters that profile a range of different homeschooling styles. There are so many different ways of thinking about and going about homeschooling, that it can be overwhelming to try to figure out what even looks good for future research. I think this book can give you some major subheadings to think about. Even if it convinces you that a couple approaches aren't to your liking, then that is something that you won't have to keep thinking about.

My bent is toward classical, literature heavy, academically rigorous homeschooling. But that doesn't mean that I expect kindergarteners to be writing essays or figuring out algebra problems. One of the main things you can accomplish in the early years is to develop a culture and habit of learning. That means that you and your kids are curious. You check books out from the library and read them together. You look at the nature around you. You spend time in museums looking and wondering about what you see.

But small digestable bits. Even if you have rigorous long range plans, it is better (in my opinion) to build a solid foundation gently and one day at a time. So let the books about science be picture books that you can read in one sitting. Let the nature outings be short and interspersed with playing. Don't feel like you have to enjoy every exhibit in the museum or every animal in the zoo in one visit.

It is great to look around at some of the cool high level stuff that homeschoolers are doing with older kids. But don't get too wrapped around the axle about it. It is hard to know with a kindergartener where their talents and strengths will be at 10 or 17. And the options you will have for school in 5-10 years will be totally different. (I could start naming major curriculum that weren't around when we started homeschooling back in 2003 and probably get to 20 before I had to pause and think. For that matter, there are some major providers who are no longer around.) Concentrate on basic skills like reading, counting, days of the week, seasons, etc. And on habits like sitting for 10 minute lessons with frequent breaks for playing.

My most recommended links for new homeschoolers are blogs. I think they are more dynamic than some of the big advertiser supported sites.

Guilt Free Homeschooling (Her kids are now graduated, but her articles are collected into nice topical groups.)

Handbook of Nature Study (Outdoor Challenges that can be used by anyone from preschool to high school.)

Harmony Art Mom (Same blogger as Handbook of Nature Study, but with challenges on art and music.)

I tend to use a lot of material from Susan Wise Bauer. She has some video Q&A sessions that I thought were nice. Some are about her oldest son, who is now in college, but there are also nice bits relative to younger kids (I loved the one about the mandatory quiet time for everyone in the afternoon.)

Paula's Archives has some good ideas about what to do with younger kids while you are trying to do school with the older ones.

The forums at The Well Trained Mind can be a good resource, with a couple caveats. There are thousands of board members with hundreds online at any one time. That means that you will find someone with a glowing and a glowering opinion on just about anything you can think of. So take any comments with a grain of salt. I think it is also human nature to rave about what you've picked up that is new. Sometimes these glowing reports don't outlast the season. It can be a great source of information and support, but like any big group, it can also be a source of discontent and irritation. Remember that you are the person who best knows your own kids and your own talents and limitations. (I also like the Curriculum boards a little better than the General board.)

Hope this is helpful. It's a wild ride, but I think it's well worth it. Don't think that you have to have the next 13 years planned out before you start. (I wish I had the carefully laid out plan I wrote years ago that detailed how I'd get the kids through calculus by 11th grade. There are days when I need the laugh.)

Book Review: Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe

I just finished the book Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson.

The gist of the book (illustrated with cartoons that hit pretty close to home) is that homeschooling moms need to cut themselves a break, that they are driven to feelings of inadequacy and depression by continually comparing themselves to other homeschooling moms. He goes on to say that all homeschooling families and moms have areas that they struggle with, but that we tend to judge others by the small part of their lives that are on public display.

I agree with this, so far. The conclusion is where I can't track with him. His solution is for us to not worry so much about what we're doing. Not only about keeping up with the Jones' but also about how many subjects we're tackling and how much we're doing.

I feel like this is a little like my reaction to the Mary in a Martha World type books that exhort me to just let go more and enjoy the moment. That's great, except that my problem isn't usually in enjoying the moment. My struggles are with laziness and procrastination. It's not that I'm not spending enough time in communion with others but that my sink is full of dishes and the bed is piled with unfolded laundry. My homeschooling struggles aren't with trying to get third year Latin fit around the concert piano schedule, but in getting math and reading and history done.

And while I can raise an amen with the reminder that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," the fact that we are all falling short every day doesn't really give me leave to rest on my laurels. I wish that there had been one more chapter or two that reminded me to check out the log in my own eye before inspecting specks in others.

Maybe the reason that my kids are falling behind is because I'm too eager to cancel school for a park day or a museum visit or a scout project (all good things individually, but with a time opportunity cost that must be considered). Maybe I'm spending hours on the boards talking about homeschooling instead of doing it. Maybe I'm searching for the perfect curriculum instead of getting 80% of the job done with what I already have. Maybe I'm avoiding school altogether because I don't want to confront the bad work habits and attitudes that I've allowed to fester (in part because they reflect my own).

Yes, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." But that includes me, it doesn't excuse me. Instead of waving a magic wand and excusing homeschooling moms of feelings of guilt, I wish that the book had considered, even for a moment, that the guilty feelings might stem from some sins of omission and commission on the part of homeschooling moms.

So by all means, read the book. Do take on the advise to stop constantly comparing yourself and your homeschool and your kids to the not totally real presentations on the covers of homeschool magazines or in decorative (but selective) blogs. But don't forget that there are problems in homeschooling that come from our hearts and actions. If I'm lazy or if I don't spend more time on school than on Facebook, it is hard to expect better from my kids. Maybe my kids' inadequacy with Latin has something to do with the crisp freshness of their unused Latin texts. Sometimes failure is a reminder to do better.

A New Campus for PBA

We are nearing the end of the beginning of setting up the new PBA campus. A few weeks ago we found a nice rental house, which will not only give us enough bedrooms to let each kid have their own room, but will give us a good sized basement to use as a school space.

I will probably need a few trips to Ikea before the basement is quite ready for action. Several bookcases now line the walls and we're within the last few boxes of being unpacked down there. Throw down a couple rugs, move the old kitchen table in and I think we're ready to go.

Homeschool Curriculum Wisdom

Like gardeners pining over showy blossoms and abundant fruit trees in the latest seed catalogs, homeschoolers often spend the dark ages of winter thinking about plans for next year's homeschool. By the time the spring convention season rolls around, my basket of homeschooling catalogs is overflowing with dog eared, tape flaged and highlighted offerings from various companies. Each one seems to offer the promise of a year of blissful learning where knowledge is gained with little extra planning, a minimum of effort and low time expendatures. Some seem to assure me that this product or that program will even make us happy.

The glow of planning can take you over the hump of cold dreary gray days. But it can also make you give up on what you're doing in favor of the mirage of "next year". But like in gardening, "next year's" bounty is probably more of the result of dilligent daily efforts, nipping small problems in the bud and perseverance than in some miracle root stock. I'm probably not the only one to notice that the spring and fall offers blog posts and board threads full of the wonders of this new scheme or that new curriculum. If you look closely, often the most rhapsodic are those who have only been using it for a few days or weeks. But by November, how many are looking for new uses for desk top organizers and plastic file drawers. How many have discovered that their shiny new curriculum does require effort and dilligence? How many are already looking for the next new thing?

I was reminded of this when reading a thread about high school planning on The Well Trained Mind Forums. One particular response caught my eye. After observing that we need to take our "blue sky" plans and then trim them down to what is practical and possible, Janice in NJ wrote this:

I think the hardest part of it was letting go of the list. It
took a LONG time and a ton of work to find it. Manage it. Locate classes and
resources. Etc. etc. etc. But in the end, much of it was a bad fit, so it had to
be chucked. (Depressing! Makes me feel like I'm wasting my life going in
circles! Tough to swallow. Oh well. I just had to get over it! ) It's a bit like
finding all of the "best" third grade curriculum. Once you find it all and you
buy it all and you spend your entire SUMMER scheduling it all, it's really tough
to abandon it when it doesn't work for your kid! Been there. Done that. Could
write the book on that one! But I ended up having to ditch it every time. And
then I had to resist wanting to tell everyone all about it - EVERY TIME! Even
though I was learning through experience that the best isn't the best if it
doesn't fit my kid. We older gals on this board generally stop answering those
kinds of questions over on the K-5 boards. The ones that go, "Which math program
is the best?" or "Do we have to diagram?" or "Which spelling program is the
best?" We know that the best one is the one that YOU have the potential, the
time, the understanding, and the ability to WORK WITH at your house. Everything
else will just end up being a black hole for your resources (time, money,
enthusiasm, and talent). And the list of things you and your kids have the
potential to use well is different for everyone. The 3rd grade writing program
that will work in your house is the one that you and your child have the
expertise and the motivation to USE! That's the best one. The great, best, cream
of the crop choice. Period. Same thing here.

The best depends on a lot more than "best of." Make sense?

It is so easy to get fixated on developing the perfect plan. But it's also easy to lose sight of the fact that what is best for our family may have nothing to do with what is common, popular or fashionable. Maybe the latest development in curriculum is just what we've been looking for. But maybe what we really need is the homeschooling equivalent of heirloom seeds (something that isn't burning up the homeschool boards, but has kept its place on our shelves because it works). Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good.

My Brush with Reagan

I'm really too young to remember Reagan in much detail. But I have one near brush with him that meant a lot.

I was an exchange student in West Germany in 1986. I lived on my host family's dairy farm. But my host parents were determined that I was going to see more than just the farmlands of Gemmingen. So they arranged lots of day trips and set up visits with friends, family and all sorts of distant connections. The brother-in-law of a neighbor was a local politician in Berlin, so off we went to see the great city.

There were six of us - four German teens, myself and another American who was staying on a neighboring farm. We all packed into a car and drove the long way through East Germany to West Berlin. I didn't realize it at the time, but President Reagan was scheduled to visit Berlin that week. The first I knew was when all the Germans in the car started laughing and carrying on at something on the radio.
I asked what was so funny and was informed that my president had gone to the Berlin Wall and told Mr. Gorbachev to tear it down. They couldn't stop laughing at how idiotic a suggestion they thought this was.

During the visit I was able to visit the wall myself at Checkpoint Charlie and also where it snaked around to within a few blocks of the house where we were staying. It did look formidable and impregnable. And after all, it had been there in one form or another since before I was born. The Soviet Union looked strong and unlikely to want to tear it down anytime soon, unless it was in order to absorb all of West Berlin too.

I've had several opportunities to go back to Berlin, including the three years that I lived there. Only ten years after Reagan's speech, I visited with my husband. Wanting to show him where the wall had been, we went to the site of Checkpoint Charlie. Not only was there no wall, but there was another full block where I remembered the No Man's Land, double wall sections and watchtowers to have been. It was only by going back to Museum Haus am Checkpoint Charlie and then pacing east that I was able to give him an idea of about where the wall had been. A few years later, the Berlin city council voted to place markers along the streets of Berlin to indicated where the wall had once divided the city.

I loved to tell that story to Berliners and others when we lived there. Not as an I told you so about how great one American president or one political viewpoint was. But rather to remind them that dreams of change that can see impossible, desires to topple systems that seem of infinite endurance and to replace them with something better aren't just a folly worthy of mocking. They really can come to pass.