Book Review: Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe

I just finished the book Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson.

The gist of the book (illustrated with cartoons that hit pretty close to home) is that homeschooling moms need to cut themselves a break, that they are driven to feelings of inadequacy and depression by continually comparing themselves to other homeschooling moms. He goes on to say that all homeschooling families and moms have areas that they struggle with, but that we tend to judge others by the small part of their lives that are on public display.

I agree with this, so far. The conclusion is where I can't track with him. His solution is for us to not worry so much about what we're doing. Not only about keeping up with the Jones' but also about how many subjects we're tackling and how much we're doing.

I feel like this is a little like my reaction to the Mary in a Martha World type books that exhort me to just let go more and enjoy the moment. That's great, except that my problem isn't usually in enjoying the moment. My struggles are with laziness and procrastination. It's not that I'm not spending enough time in communion with others but that my sink is full of dishes and the bed is piled with unfolded laundry. My homeschooling struggles aren't with trying to get third year Latin fit around the concert piano schedule, but in getting math and reading and history done.

And while I can raise an amen with the reminder that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," the fact that we are all falling short every day doesn't really give me leave to rest on my laurels. I wish that there had been one more chapter or two that reminded me to check out the log in my own eye before inspecting specks in others.

Maybe the reason that my kids are falling behind is because I'm too eager to cancel school for a park day or a museum visit or a scout project (all good things individually, but with a time opportunity cost that must be considered). Maybe I'm spending hours on the boards talking about homeschooling instead of doing it. Maybe I'm searching for the perfect curriculum instead of getting 80% of the job done with what I already have. Maybe I'm avoiding school altogether because I don't want to confront the bad work habits and attitudes that I've allowed to fester (in part because they reflect my own).

Yes, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." But that includes me, it doesn't excuse me. Instead of waving a magic wand and excusing homeschooling moms of feelings of guilt, I wish that the book had considered, even for a moment, that the guilty feelings might stem from some sins of omission and commission on the part of homeschooling moms.

So by all means, read the book. Do take on the advise to stop constantly comparing yourself and your homeschool and your kids to the not totally real presentations on the covers of homeschool magazines or in decorative (but selective) blogs. But don't forget that there are problems in homeschooling that come from our hearts and actions. If I'm lazy or if I don't spend more time on school than on Facebook, it is hard to expect better from my kids. Maybe my kids' inadequacy with Latin has something to do with the crisp freshness of their unused Latin texts. Sometimes failure is a reminder to do better.