Teaching them Apart

Single gender public school classrooms has been quite the firebrand issue. Some believe strongly that this violates the tolerance and diversity that schools should be fostering. Others point to the academic and social failures of co-ed classrooms and suggest that it is time to try something else.
The NY Times Magazine had a long article on the topic, Teaching Boys and Girls Separately. It looks at the debate and the difference in philosophy in single gender schools. I thought that it was interesting that after detailing the incredible turn around by both schools and individuals, the article closed by invoking the need to teach toleration.

But schools, inevitably, present many curriculums, some overt and some subtle; and critics argue that with Sax’s model comes a lesson that our gender differences are primary, and this message is at odds with one of the most foundational principles of America’s public schools. Given the myriad ways in which our schools are failing, it may be hard to remember that public schools were intended not only to instruct children in reading and math but also to teach them commonality, tolerance and what it means to be American. “When you segregate, by any means, you lose some of that,” says Richard Kahlenberg, a senior fellow at the Century Foundation. “Even if one could prove that sending a kid off to his or her own school based on religion or race or ethnicity or gender did a little bit better job of raising the academic skills for workers in the economy, there’s also the issue of trying to create tolerant citizens in a democracy.”

This is one of the accusations leveled against homeschooling as well, that we are too isolated and fail to teach diversity and tolerance (evidently the socialization arguement has worn a bit thin). Of course what this arguement lacks is any evidence that the multi-cultural emphasis of modern public schools does in fact increase tolerance.

Why does any of this matter for homeschoolers? I read Michael Gurian's book The Wonder of Boys a few years ago. This book focuses on how boys and girls learn differently and how boys often respond to the disconnect between their method of learning and demonstrating knowledge and their female teacher's methods of teaching. Most home educators are women, and many homeschools have a homey feminine feel. That can be comforting, but it can also be a source of conflict and frustration. As the mom of three boys, it is important that I find ways of teaching that they can understand. That doesn't mean that I don't teach them to write. But it does mean that I need to be sensitive to the idea that it might come slower for them or that they may need more frequent breaks to be active or to go outside and look at bugs or to doodle while they listen to a read aloud. Right now our garage holds a thrift store bike that my oldest is taking apart piece by piece. This is one of his forms of stress therapy.

There is a huge spectrum amongst individuals. I even see lots of differences between my boys, even the two who are close in age. Books like Gurian's can help us identify and appreciate the strengths and weaknesses of our children's learning styles and our own teaching styles. Another of his titles is Boys and Girls Learn Differently. These books are well worth checking out. There may be some subtle shifts in your school day that will translate into a smoother day with more relaxed learning.